new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
