is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
