it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
