Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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