What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
