Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
