we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
