How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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