dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
