apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
