Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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