dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
