The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize