Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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