That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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