How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize