i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
