i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
