so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I got her a Nickelback box set.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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