Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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