Sry I called you an 8
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
