3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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