I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
