Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
