The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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