seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
