I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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