A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
