you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
