Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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