The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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