are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
