mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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