Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
