Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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