Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize