There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize