I got her a Nickelback box set.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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