He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
