I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
