oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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