if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
