he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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