i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
