so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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