nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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