Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
