I hate your face
You can't motorboat a personality
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize