she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
