I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
