I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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