i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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