Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
don't judge my taste in strippers
my poor anus
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
