her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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