Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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