I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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