If i come over, it means nothing
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize