why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
