Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
