i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
