Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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